Written November 24th, 2008

Out of the Darkness

Out of the darkness
In leaps and bounds
I finally reach the sunny side
of the world

Out of the darkness
I finally see again
The laughter and hope
that I'd seen before

Out of the darkness
and out of the clouds
I can now spread my wings
And fly away

Out of the darkness
This feeling is so great
I hope I never return
to the darkness
because I am finally

Out of the darkness

Written July 4th, 2007

As I crash through the wooden gates of your mind,
I see what you've been hiding;
secret feelings locked away
behind forbidden walls.
My anger flares up like a fire.
Your unkind truths cut me like a knife.

Hold me now,
leave me now,
abuse me now.

Sometimes I wish that I could go away
and leave the past behind.
I have a splinter in my hand.
I can't get it out,
it grows deeper in my skin.

Hold me now,
leave me now,
abuse me now.

My confusion is aimed in your direction;
pull the trigger and it will explode.
Make me, don't break me,
I just want to be loved.
This pain is so fucking real,
I'd feel it if I wasn't numb.
Treat me like a toy,
leave me broken on the ground.
It's easier to make cuts than to heal them.

Hold me now,
leave me now,
abuse me now.

Love me or hate me,
it's all the same.

Written July 4th, 2007

Terror is as terror does;
an angry rose has many thorns.
Don't rub me the wrong way.
Your skin will break and I'll feel your blood;
thorns cut flesh.

Take me tonight,
don't make everything all right.

Tie me up, these bonds can break.
Rules can break,
fools can break.
Bonds broken by fools.
My poison rushes through your veins,
there's no escape.
Cut me once;
I've lost all feeling.
Rub me the wrong way,
it has no meaning.

Take me tonight,
don't make everything all right.

Tie me up,
leave me to die,
I'll use my own poison against me.
The poison wasn't you,
it was me.

Bonds can break, but poison flows forever.

Written July 4th, 2007

Swiftly covering frozen ground,
you leave tracks around my heart;
crossing the train tracks of my life.
Paint my heart red; now it's black.
Black like death,
black like decay,
like burning ashes of my tortured mind.
Don't touch me, it will burn you.
I'm going where I've never gone before,
into the dark abyss of my mind;
I'll never come out alive.
I'll creep out like a strangled creature.
I am lonely, living inside of myself.
That is my world. now.
It already hurts;
just use me again.

Written July 4th, 2007

Do hearts have eyes?
Do they see what we can not?
My heart is blind.
What is a heart,
but an organ?
It pumps blood, nothing else, no feeling...
then why does my heart cry?
A conscious self-loathing,
a self-destructive nature,
a threat to myself.
My own worst enemy.
Why do I follow my heart
when all it does is lead me off of cliffs?
It can not be trusted.
Trusted once, never again.
It takes over my mind, leading to confusion.
Mentally, I carve it out,
remove it from my chest.
Follow your heart or follow your head?
Either way, you'll wind up dead.

Written July 5th, 2007

Red paint on my body;
pretend it's blood.
How do you feel now?
Please pretend that you still care...

I pretend to bleed,
trying to squeeze some emotion out of your cold,
frozen heart.
I feel like a dirty whore,
the things you make me do.
No shame,
no compassion,
no feeling.
All for you, none for me.
It's always the same.
Please pretend that you still care...

My mind burns with the things I've seen,
things I've done.
No one talks to me anymore,
no one left to care.
I'm on my own.
I always have been.
If only you'd pretend that you still care...